The idea of applying for disability

I think another main reason I quit therapy is because my therapist kept telling me I should reapply for disability. Again, no offense to those on it, but I feel like the hope which I cling to that I might someday pay off my student loans and own things and so on is what gets me out of bed in the morning. It is gives me hope of a sense of self-worth. If I gave that up I don’t know if I could get out of bed in the morning. I don’t know what I would look forward to in life. And I’d already said to him a million times I didn’t really want to reapply, but he kept bringing it up. And I’m sure he meant well, I just mean that every time it was brought up I felt defensive and like my entire existence was being pulled out from under my feet. The urgent need to make money is my driving force in life.