Rambling about the past few months

The doctors don’t want me on so much prednisone, so they cut it down quite a bit and I ended up with all my skin falling off and a full-body staph infection in October. That stressed me out quite a bit. They also tend to want me to jump through various hoops just to get my pills, which, in addition to keeping the skin under control, also keep me alive since I have adrenal insufficiency. This stresses me out even more.

In theory, I’d be happy to be on less prednisone. As I mentioned to my therapist, when I still had one, I feel like I am intoxicated on drugs 24 hours a day. Part of this is due to the meds exacerbating the mania, but part of it is just the drugs themselves. The beauty of recreational “fun” drugs like LSD and pot is that you can enjoy them a while, and then eventually they wear off and you can go back to your normal life and your normal functioning without any impairment. While corticosteroids are not “fun” drugs, the brainfog and the feeling of impairment is real obstacle that stresses me out and ruins my life every single day.

In addition to that, there is a feeling of doom hanging over me at all times, and a disconnect from the rest of humanity. In general, I feel like there is no way out of my situation and things will just continue to get worse until I eventually drop dead. I have been in such a godawful place psychologically that not only am I unable to talk about it with people, I can’t even type anything about it here. I can’t even easily work through it inside my head because I feel like I should just wallow in the brainfog and denial because I don’t want to face my own thoughts.

I have reduced my stress somewhat by not looking at my Facebook newsfeed anymore (I have a few groups I look at and maintain bookmarked, but for now, I am not looking at my newsfeed for any reason. Until I am less stressed out by it.) I am not deactivating, but I have also made two accounts, one for family and one for nonfamily. All of this makes Facebook a less threatening place for me, and I don’t think it should be a cause of stress.

Other than that, I just finished a huge work project and may take a few days off from work to do things like watch movies and read books.

People who give unwanted advice

ill

I think it should specifically state “mental illness,” too, even if it’s implied in the chronic illness category.

Exercise doesn’t necessarily improve or cure mental illness. Also, it is very likely they have already considered it. And for some people, doing it is difficult. People with limited mobility may obviously have a hard time exercising, but also people with mental illnesses which make it harder for them to get out and do things. Also applies to yoga.

As for marijuana, if it helps you with whatever, great. But please quit telling me (and others who don’t want your advice) to just smoke pot and it will cure all your ills. For some people, it makes things worse. For others, it may not do anything positive.

Stopping all medications: good gawd. I’ve been told this so many times, by so many people. “Don’t you think you’d feel a lot better if you’d just stop taking all the pills?” No, dipshit, because I’d be dead. I need corticosteroids to replace the hormones my body doesn’t make, which are necessary for me to continue being alive. This also goes for people who take psychiatric drugs. Any time a person mentions a negative side effect from a psych drug, the anti-psych meds people have a field day. “The ‘cure’ is worse than the disease!” etc. I’ve had some tell me that NO ONE, as in no one in the history of mankind, has EVER been helped by a psychiatric drug. [*facepalm*] They are so anti-drug, and they apparently see everything in such black and white terms, that they don’t comprehend that some things have positive and negative sides. A pill might give you a dry mouth, but if it helps you to function better, it may be worth it.

Vitamins: the only time you need to be supplementing vitamins is if your doctor has diagnosed you with a legitimate deficiency through blood tests. Otherwise, you’re paying for expensive pee.

Natural remedies: many DRUGS came from plants and other natural sources. The difference is that medications are regulated, tested, and you know how much active ingredient you are getting. They are safer. Alternative medicine which has been shown to work is called “medicine.” Alternative “medicine” has either not been shown to work, or shown not to work. It is possible that people want medicines that actually work.

Going veg*n: I have nothing against people who do this for their own reasons, but it’s problematic to push on others. If you do not feel the need to do so for ethical reasons or whatever, then there is probably no problem with continuing to eat animal products. A lot of the arguments (other than ethics) seem to come back to a sort of black and white thinking: the inability to understand that moderation is a thing that exists. If a huge amount of red meat can be bad, that doesn’t mean a little bit here and there will kill you. Additionally, just eliminating meat or animal products, on its own, does not guarantee that your diet is healthy.

Acupuncture: it has never been shown to work better than placebo.

Colon cleansing: no, not sticking hoses up my butt. This has also never been shown to be healthy.

Sleep: some people have trouble getting the amount of sleep they want, but you talking about getting more or less probably won’t help in any way. This is another thing that everyone has already thought of.

Positivity is really my biggest peeve on here. If you say that, people accuse you of being a champion of negativity or something. No, I am just saying thinking happy thoughts does not cure physical or mental illness. You can’t think these things away, or no one would have them.

This goes along with the people who say “the only disability is a negative attitude!” No, disabilities fucking exist and they can make life harder for people who have them. And yet you get people with no physical disabilities, no learning disabilities, no other major issues, talking down on people for not being positive enough because that’ll fix everything. It minimizes the fact that some people legitimately may have obstacles keeping them from doing some things, or performing as well, doing things are quickly, etc. as people without those issues. Again, this is not saying people with disabilities should sit around feeling sorry for themselves; this is acknowledging that their disabilities exist and may impact their lives in some way.