(This is a conversation on a forum)
Keep in mind we are not so unique as we think or wish. Specialists can help you because what you have thousands of people have too (with smooth variations).
The problem with the therapists and psychiatrists I have seen is that there is apparently nothing in the medical literature that fits me. I may have mostly focused on the bipolar here, but it is combined with the psychological symptoms of long-term corticosteroid use and a possible personality disorder. They’ve tried various meds over the years and basically told me they don’t know WTF else to do. Also, to see a new psychiatrist around here, there is a waiting list of about a year or more. I’m not willing to wait a year. Also, I decided I just can’t afford any more specialists. I have a lot of health problems, I go to a lot of specialists.
If I have to guess, I would say you need psychologists and psychiatrist as well, you probably have some “physical” problem (or real problem if you prefer)
I’m pretty sure bipolar disorder is a real physical problem, but I know what you mean. I am on a lot of very powerful drugs for my skin and my hormonal problems. These are being taken care of by appropriate specialists.
But again, I largely enjoyed the time I spent going to the therapist. I saw the same one for almost 2 years, I think. I learned many new things. And we talked about mania quite a bit, and he acknowledged and accepted the fact that many manic people do not want and will actively reject treatment. I am one such person. He knew that.
You may be reading back too far in my posts, my acute mania only lasted a few days. I am quite functional now and able to eat food. The food was my only main concern. I don’t even need to be functional around people because I am rarely around people. But if I were around people, I would be quite ok.
Thinking back, I have only have two states, and this is the state in which I am able to function better. It’s kind of a “lust for life” rather than a “lust for death” kind of thing.
May I say one thing is working form me: get out of myself more times: think about other people, trying to help and be useful.
Yeah, that’s what I do while manic: I am nice to people, I help people, people enjoy being around me (opposite is true while depressed). As far as I am concerned, especially now that I am eating again, I am ok, I am functional, I am motivated, etc. That is, I am close to “well” as I have ever been or probably ever will be.
I don’t want a solution. I feel fucking fantastic.
Nah, I’m eating now. I’m not hungry, but I do force myself to eat a few bites of things here and there.
In my opinion, the problem is not how I am now, it’s how I was for the past 8 years.